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October 17th, 2008

It's been 2 years....

friends <3 me
Like I said, two years. I got on here to try to get a hold of Aleesa but the chances of that happening looks to be slim to none. But reading past entries has made me realized that I have come a really long way, both in my life and as a person. I'm glad. Very very glad. And now I'm going to watch the new Indiana Jones special features (because I have already watched the movie twice since I got it yesterday).

November 10th, 2006

(no subject)

who cares
Well, these last couple of days have been quite exciting! I went to an amazing concert with awesome people, and I've been to downtown Disney 2 since Tuesday, had a blast, was also miserable, but only during the second visit. So yeah, I've been very busy lately.

I know this girl, and she and I were very good friends. And then one day, she retaliated(sp?) against me, and pushed me away. She has a few other friends(one that's very head over heels for her), and she has succeeding in not only pushing them away also, but pissing them off. She dragged an innocent bystander into the confliction, causing problems for them, and now I'm not sure who she has left. I feel bad, but I don't. She's the one secluding herself, making sure that she's completely set apart from us. Plus, she's a bit Bi-polar, I think. I wish she could see what she's doing to herself, and quit blaming us for it.

In other news...

My parents went to Disneyland today, and they couldn't get in. Disneyland was at MAXIMUM CAPACITY!!! Is that crazy or what? The happiest place on earth had to shoo people away, because no one else could fit in the park. Glad I went last night! HA! Well, I'm going to get something to eat, with my favorite company, and hope that the night goes better than my day(which was very awefull).

November 3rd, 2006

(no subject)

Well, Brian got the LAST TICKET! So Andrew and I didn't get to see Silverstein. But I got a sweatshirt! I love it! I got to spend a lot of time in down town Disney, and it was really fun. But I'm home now, gotta go to bed. Nite y'all!

November 2nd, 2006

Halloween is over..*sniff*.

we deserve
So work on Halloween was lame, no one came and saw me, and it lasted forever! I finally got to go home to good company, and some bad company knocked on my door and told me that they'd been drinking and driving, crashed thier car, and think about suicide. So Halloween was amazing *note the sarcasm*.

Last night was fun, I missed Ben at Olivera's, but caught Gabe. We sat inside and saw Roxanne and Danielle. Geez did Danielle look different! Went to Denny's after that, listening to some awesome Senses Fail.

I'm going to a concert tonight, in Aneheim, to see Silverstein. It should be fun, I don't know much of thier music, but I'm going with Andrew and Brian, and they're guaranteed fun.

Too bad I'm sad, I lost my best friend. He's meant everything to me, and he's gone. Why? Cuz he gets in trouble when he talks to me. Oh well, we had good times, ones I'll definately never forget. Adieu dear one, and hope we get to see each other again.

"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, only with what you are expected to give... Which is everything."
- Kathrine Hepburn

October 31st, 2006

Happy Halloween everyone!

friends <3 me
Well, it's my favorite holiday, for the same reason I love theatre, because you can be someone else for an entire day and no one has a problem with it! Anyone you want! A pirate(my fav), a witch, a doctor, a plumber, a prisoner, a school girl(ha ha), a fairy, and no one says you're wrong, or makes fun of you for it.

I finally got ahold of my best friend. She's so different from me, and I'm glad that she is. She knows how to look outside the box I'm in, and tell me what it's like, or what to do, to get to her point. I was in her possition not too long ago, with everything planned out. And now she's the one with the clear future. Thanks to her, I'm out of my depression funk almost the whole way. I still feel shuned. But I can only wait. I did learn, however, instead of being so pushy. Maybe I should just show that I care. What's that saying? Oh yeah, "you get more bees with honey than vinegar".

One last thing, that I need everyone's help on. I have a friend, quite dear, and they seem to be in a semi-permanent "mood". We'll call them Friend. Friend has not been very nice to people lately. They've been really moody, and kind of obnoxious. Every time someone has a story, Friend has a story that's better than theirs. Friend is always complaining about work and school, but says that no one else has the right to complain about anything. Everyone is getting sick of them, and I'm afraid Friend is going to get hurt. What do I do? Do I be a true friend and confront Friend? Or do I get someone else to do it? Should I wait untill someone tells Friend off? Let them learn the hard way? Please, some help on this would be nice.

So untill then, everyone have the Happiest of Halloweens, get lots of candy, eat it all, and get sick, cuz you know it'll be worth it! And if you're bored between 5pm-9pm, I'm working, so y'all should come visit me down at the In n Out burger. G'nite and happy haunting!

October 29th, 2006

Quicky #1

friends <3 me
Now is the time to find out whatever you want to know. All you have to do is ask. I'll answer all questions 100% truthfully. But, here's the catch, NO anonymous posting. I'm not gonna answer anonymous questions. If you have something to ask, just own up to it. I'm not gonna judge you as i hope you will do the same for me.

Oh I hope you all enjoy this!

October 28th, 2006


boy penises
Awesome Halloween party last night. Yay to good times with old friends from high school! And yay to Aleesa's amazing costume idea! I'm glad I went last night, or it would have been very interesting staying at home with angry parents, all night. Why are they angry? Well, if you're even remotely interested, it's because I did not consult them on my going to Europe next year. Yup! I'm soooo excited! With Sarah! The best of the best friends! I talked to her about going to Europe, the two of us, before. But all she was interested in was shopping. Oh the shopping she could do in London and Paris. I want to see everything else. The shops, the sites, the people, the culture! And for 29 days! NO JOKE! So yeah, I came home and told my mom, she replied with "says who?". "Says me!!" I replied! She asked if she had any say in it, and I said no, because she's not the one paying for it! I am! I'm the one that's going to be saving the money! She got all pissy and said that I'm suppose to be figuring out what I intend to do with my life, not planning stupid trips. But she's the one that told me, if I really want to go to Europe(which I have, for many years now)that I should just go! And just take whoever's willing to go with me. So that's what I'm doing. Sure it's going to be a lot more saving, and working more hours, and no more free time. But dear God it's going to be amazing! Well, I gotta get ready for another Halloween party. Actually, I have to go to Murrieta, to get ready for the party. But I hope everyone else has a haunting holiday, and lots of tricks and treats!

October 23rd, 2006

Why do boys think the way they do? Boys, Men, Guys, they all process information the same way! I don't care if it's not fair, it's not my fault. I'm independant, and I can't help it, but I like it that way, DEAL WITH IT!

Work was awesome today, NOT! Have to work the same long ass shift tomorrow too. Damn that terrifyingly important need to have money, and in order to get it, we have to work. Slave is more like it! I was so hot standing outside today, I felt like I should have been singing plantation songs, underground railroad ballads and such.

Btw, I've been obsessed with the Snow Patrol "Chasing Cars" song. That, and my new Grey's Anatomy soundtrack, which is very interesting.

My mom told me I need to figure out what I want to do with my life by January. She didn't say what would happen if I didn't, but I'm all too sure that a deadline isn't going to help my decision. "Do what makes you happy" everyone says. But all too much makes me happy. What can I say, I'm an optimistic person. I'm scared of finally settling with something, only to be dissapointed when I get bored with it, or am no longer interested. Then I've wasted time, money, and God knows what else, just to start from scratch on something else. I know I don't want to do something small. I want to be recognized for something. But what? I love marinebiology, but I suck at science, even with as much as I like it, as hard as I try, and with the help I get from Gabe. A degree in art? Sure, I love painting, ceramics, drawing, and I think I'm quite good at them all. But it's one of those things. I'm a jack of all trades, but a master of none. Massage therapy was an idea for a while, but I thought of it more as a temporary thing, and it doesn't work that way. Fire fighting? Sure! Pick up the family tradition! 1.)It's almost too late 2.)I hate the technical stuff, learning how engines work, machines and such. I like the paramedic calls. Could do that, but I'm not one for guts, just a little blood and maybe some dead people, that much I can handle. Acting... There's an idea. But that's one of those starve-if-there's-no-business sorta things. But I would love it! I dunno. I'm hoping something will come to me. Just one day, an epiphany! WHAM!! And then I'd have it! And life would be good. Nah, I shouldn't say that, cuz life is good. I'm alive right? So I guess just... life would be better. Cuz then I'd feel like I'd have some sort of direction. Some idea of where I'm going, and what I'm shooting for. Cuz right now, I feel like a sardine in the giant ocean of life.

"The biggest fish in the lake gets that way by never being caught". -Edward Blume(Big Fish)

October 17th, 2006

Long time no read eh?

boy penises
So I'm pretty sure it's been ages... Yes, eons since I've been on here, but it feels comforting to be here. Why I don't log on more often I don't know. Oh! Now I know! It's cuz the only reason I ever use to get on the computer was to log onto myspace, and I'm on a myspace strike at the moment. Haven't logged in for God knows how long. It feels good, but at the same time, completely sucks! I don't have the comfort or ability to just drop folks a comment or a message, talk to people I don't normally get to talk to. But at the same time, I don't have to see pictures I would definately rather not see, or blogs/bulliteins that I'd rather not read, about what a horrible best friend I am, and what a sucky job I'm doing at just being an all around human being. Seems like everyone's got something against me lately. So I've done some things that I'm not all that proud of. But I've done things that I'm amazing proud of too. I'm happy with the friends I've made, the one's that I've decided to keep in touch with, and recognize as friends. My high school buddies like Ben, Gabe, Aleesa, Jeff, Jeff, Bethany, Thomas, you guys have been the key to my happiness the last couple of years. There's never a dull moment with any of you at any time, and I am completely myself around you guys, and that I truely enjoy. I don't get the opportunity to see any of you as often as I'd like, but that doesn't change the relationship we have, and that sort of understanding is beautiful. So I'm done with my little blip. I was tempted to check my myspace, but this has curbed my craving. See you all around hopefully!

August 12th, 2006

Feeling the impact

boy penises
Wow, don't you love it when everything was going right, or at least inching toward the right direction, and then it crashes? Tumbles down, accelerating every second by the pull of gravity. You can't tell the ground is quickly coming closer because you're weightless, untill you make contact, and then it hurts. Physically, emotionally, mentally... It hurts. Then you have to pick up the pieces of yourself, and put them back together. The worst part is, you're re-assembling yourself, and it still takes many attempts, because you don't always get it right the 1st time, the 2nd, or the 3rd. But sooner or later you place the pieces it the correct spots, and wait for the cuts to heal. Carefull though, you don't want to re-open a wound, or get salt anywhere near it, because it would leave a worse scar than what's already going to appear. Just wait. Cry, and wait.
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